Today i am writing about a subject more serious, It's about c-sections, natural birth and the judgement and labels that goes with it.
i am a c-section mommy and if i could i would go the natural way BUT childbirth in general has it's risks whether you go c-section or natural , now the reason for my sudden upset is because i was reading a fb discussion about a mom asking a question about whether she should go c or labour after the doctor advised her to rather have a c-section, my opinion was that she should use the advise of her doctor and this was trashed by the moms that went the natural route saying that it is a cop out, now this post and the opinions are directed directly to these types of moms...Now trust me c-section is no cop out at all, and the pains that goes with childbirth is there no matter what route you go..
the fact is if you want to do finger pointing and accuse moms that has c-sections of being bad moms and selfish for not thinking of the effects of anaesthetic to the baby you might want to read these
STUDIED FACTS about epidurals:
One important thing to note about these studies: in most of them, the women in the “control” groups were given opiate painkillers, which are also known to disrupt the natural hormonal processes of birth. We can assume, then, that a comparison of women using no drugs during labour would have revealed even more substantial differences.
Now i can go on and copy and paste of the Internet thousands of side - effects of births and epidurals etc. i can forever go on about the risk factors, but that is not my point so do yourself a favour and go have a good read about all the risks of childbirths...it will scare anyone out of having a child at all..
Now, it was mentioned by one of these "perfect" moms that she had 3 water births at home , only picked up 12 kg, jumped back to her pre-pregnancy weight in a month and she ate candy floss and pooped rainbows happily ever after..and that doctors are the enemies who forces down c-sections on innocent moms and that she should not listen to her doctor.. now i have this to say about that comment, if you are becoming a mom you should not be an innocent being not being able to question when needed and go for second opinions if you are unsure, you should perhaps also be sure that you choose a doctor that you respect and trust, because what is the point of having one then, i you will not listen or trust your doctor's OPINION ( because that is what it is) then maybe you should rather buy a GP degree on line and manage the birth yourself? ha how'z that for a good idea?
My point is i have friends who went through normal births who are extremely happy and content with that and when they mention it, it is not with judgement, i have had a friend who went the vaginal way with an epidural and so on , the FACT is any mom knows her changing body, they know what they are capable of, they have the Internet and blogs to their disposal we are living in a time where all of these info are readily available to us all to help us make informed choices and judging each other by the choices we make is pointless, it serves no positive building up purposes, it has absolutely no good reason to be done, no judging ever has, so why not be a good friend and person and keep judgements to one self?
Why is there this pressure to not tell the truth about childbirth experiences the good and the bad, why is it normal to scare the living goodness out of a first time mom by saying things that is upsetting? why is it normal in today's time to sit in a conversation and make each other feel bad about the decisions we make for our unborn babies? and why is it acceptable for us to sit there and witness it?
not having the birth that is socially acceptable does not make you a bad person or a bad mom it makes you normal, and it makes you ,you So unless your child is being abused, starved, broken, and beaten, not getting love, not taught to love and respect, you are a good mom, and that's it, that's all there is to it, just like there is no manual on parenthood , there is also no manual on making the right choices for you, there is guidelines and opinions and it should be treated that way..
MY OPINION:
it does not matter how your child comes into this world, it is about how he leaves it, and being a good mom is teaching your child the Good in this world, about morals, love, hurt, being strong, about being true, about dignity, about respect, about Loving life , appreciating it, about living it, so that the day your golden thread is clipped you can go out KNOWING that your child is the good of this world and t that would be the way he will be leaving it too....
xx
