Let me start by taking you on the road that we have been walking for the past 3 years!
Our little boy was born on the 02 January 2004, i had a healthy pregnancy, and a healthy baby, at 2 month's he was sleeping right through the night and as a one year old he was giving us all the joy a baby could give it's new parents!
He has always been a busy little boy, always on the go, always a laugh a minute ( and still is)!
At 5 we sent him to his 1st year in grade R, we decided to send him a year early so that the first year could be more of an experience to get him ready for his actual Grade R year, he had fun, like a 5 year old does, but at our first teacher-parent meeting his teacher at the time told us that we need to put him on meds...shock shock horror horror! i was furious! we refused the meds and told them that all the "problems" thay have with our son like for example, not sitting still, always talking to much, being to busy in class etc. are not ADHD problems but normal 5year old behaviour..i told the teacher that if in his second year we encounter issues, that we would handle it then.. and that was that!
His second year now age 6 was the same old issues, not sitting still, etc. We had our son tested and he was tested positive with a very high spectrum of ADHD..not the end of the world right? we did the diet route, the homeopathic route, all the alternative routes, because i was one of the first mothers to say i will never put my child on meds! but what do you do, when your child comes home everyday negative, unhappy, thinking that everyone hates him, when the teacher say's he is going to fail his grade? You tend to change your whole way of thinking hey?
So what do you do when nothing else seems to work? do you get sad and wonder why sally's child responds well to diet and home remdies and yours doesn't? NO you pull yourself towards yourself and you deal with the issue at hand, because that little bundle of joy you gave birth to now needs your serious attention!
we started with the ritalin, and school work improved...A whole lot as in day and night difference!..but he lost weight and that firy busy wacky child just dissapeared, and it killed us, so we took him off and tried a few other meds but also with the same effect on his personality the year came and went with teacher and mom not being able to really find a way to tollerate eachother but he passed all the way through to grade 1..We then went the Concerta way, and we are still on it and with possitive results. Grade 1 was a light breeze a few hicckups here and there but we went through it and ended it on a possitive note, he is now in Grade 2 and he is still doing good at school, but still with hicckups here and there between teacher and mom, but he will be getting through the year just fine, because he is a clever kid!
So why all the hiccups then? Well simply because there are tachers..and then the are teachers, you get teachers that are such sweethearts, who embraces their profession, who does it for the love and will just grow more and more patience over their years, and then you get teachers who somewhere aling the way forgot why they became teachers in the first place...i know of the latter, who has no patience, who is constantly giving detention marks, who likes to scream and shout in class, and when you send a book about how to deal with kids with adhd they simply aren't interested in reading it because " I know what ADHD is"....
So where does it leave this topic?
It is only the start of this topic lol!
i have now shared with you just briefly without going into too deeply our experience so far..
the point of this topic now shifts over to society and their views on meds and ADHD.
My personal experience with this is the following, you will be judged for your decision - That is a FACT and how you will be dealing with this will be up to you!
What most people do not understand about parents with ADHD children is that you resent yourself so much when you hear your child has this "dissease", your world falls appart and you start asking yourself what did you do wrong, you struggle because you need to make decisions for your child that will be judged badly by the rest of the world...out off a lack of understanding!
The world sees this healthy child, who acts impulsively,does without thinking, comes accross as being so unobedient, and they label your child as naughty and you as a bad parent,
So now you get 2 types of Public Judges:
The ag Shame Judges
"Ag shame did you see harry and sally with their boy? It must be so terrible for that family to live with the dissease that their child has...They will forever have problems at school and in their social circles with their son you know, Ag shame you know they don't even get invited to kid's parties anymore, because their child is so Hyper, i feel so sorry for them!"
A HA - and then you get the i can't believe it Judges!
The i can't believe it judges
" I can't believe they put their child on meds, you know it is such an easy way out, he just needs a good hiding, there is no such thing as ADHD, i can't believe that now a days if a child does not have manners he get's diagnosed with ADHD!
Now i have learned to live with both and if you are a mom with and ADHD child reading this, i will suggest you do the same or else you will drive yourself crazy with resentment!
It's very easy, your child is not mentally handicapped and ADHD is not a Disease!
your child is just different, he has a different way of seeing the world, and you as a parent need to embrace it and live it through your child's eyes and you will be amazed at what a tecnicoloured rainbow life you can be living!
Forget about what people are saying, because every second you think and resent yourself about what they are thinking you are losing a second of your life, a second you wont get back, a second that turns into minutes that turns into hours, hours that you could have rather spent baking biscuits, making mudpies or just chilling infront of the tv with your child, don't think long term that your child will be on meds for the rest of their lives, instead equip your child in his growing years with the tools he needs to cope, to remember the simple things, so that when he gets older it would be easier to possibly take him of meds, because he has then grown the tools he needs to be socialy acceptable!
our kids are not villans, we are not bad parents and the world can judge all they want, they can read a few articles on what adhd is and then think they know it all BUT until you do not have a child that goes through these things, keep your opinions to yourself.
Until you have not gone through the routines at home with an ADHD child, until you have not reminded your child to brush his teeth in the mornings, until you have not reminded your child to leave the bed and redirected him back to the bathroom to go brush his teeth like you asked 10minutes ago before he wandered off on the way to the bathroom to do something else again until this has not become yor way of living don't judge, because for each finger you point to others three fingers are pointing back.
If your child has asthma, and by giving your child an asthma pump, you can equip him with the ability to do sports, run around like a child, and have a good quality of life, do you want to tell me that you as a parent will deny your child this right?
Well the same could be said for parents who has children with ADHD!
I love my son, i am younger at heart than most 33 year olds, he keeps me on my toes, he keeps me creative, he keeps me grounded, he keeps me sane in an unsane world, he keeps me possitive in a negative society , he keeps my inner child alive, and without our inner child still alive how can we still truly be living life at all?
The point of this disscusion?
Med's or no Med's it remains the decision and right of the parent of this child and should not be open to condemnation,discussion or judgement of anyone else
This is just my opinion.
xxx
